Those Scottish Guys Donald and Douglas

DONALD AN' DOOGLAS UR ENGINES FRAE SCOOTLUND. THES ARTICLE IS WRITTEN NAE BY THEM AH SWEAR. THEY UR TH' BES SCOTS YE WILL EVER SEE IN YER GODDAMN LIFE YE WEE PANSY

LIFE STORY AY TH' TOIS SCOTTISH ENGINES
DONALD AN' DOOGLAS UR GAY TWINS. AS THEY KNO. THEY HELPED SAE OLIVER WHICH IS BONNIE GUID. BORN IN SCOOTLUND (AN DORNT BE RACIS ABIT IT YE FOCKIN EGG) THEY'RE TOIS BROTHERS JUS DOIN THEIR HIN' AN' IF YE CANNAE TOLERATE 'AT 'EN GANG TAE ZEOSODUR YE MINGIN DIESEL. WHIT AM AH E'EN TALKIN' ABIT? WHIT UR YE TALKIN ABIT? DOOGLAS?

TUNES
WHEN I WAKE UP, WELL I KNOW I'M GONNA BE,

I'M GONNA BE THE TRAIN WHO WAKES UP NEXT YOU

WHEN I GO OUT, YEAH I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE TRAIN WHO GOES ALONG WITH YOU

IF I GET DRUNK, WELL I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE TRAIN WHO GETS DRUNK NEXT TO YOU

AND IF I HAVER UP, YEAH I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE TRAIN WHO'S HAVERING TO YOU

BUT I WOULD CHUFF 500 MILES

AND I WOULD CHUFF 500 MORE

JUST TO BE THE MAN WHO CHUFFS A THOUSAND MILES

TO CRASH AT YOUR DOOR

WHEN I'M WORKING, YES I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE TRAIN WHO'S WORKING HARD FOR YOU

AND WHEN THE COAL, COMES IN FOR THE WORK I DO

I'LL PASS ALMOST ALL THE COAL ON TO YOU

WHEN I GO TO THE SHEDS (WHEN I GO TO THE SHEDS) WELL I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE MAN WHO COMES BACK TO THE SHEDS TO YOU

AND IF I GROW-OLD (WHEN I GROW-OLD) WELL I KNOW I'M GONNA BE

I'M GONNA BE THE TRAIN WHO'S GROWING OLD WITH YOU

BUT I WOULD CHUFF 500 MILES

AND I WOULD CHUFF 500 MORE

JUST TO BE THE TRAIN WHO CHUFFS A THOUSAND MILES

TO CRASH AT YOUR DOOR

DA DA DA (DA DA DA)

DA DA DA (DA DA DA)

DA DA DA DUN DIDDLE UN DIDDLE UN DIDDLE UH DA

DA DA DA (DA DA DA)

DA DA DA (DA DA DA)

DA DA DA DUN DIDDLE UN DIDDLE UN DIDDLE UH DA

TRIVIA

 * SCOTTISH
 * THEY SAVED Oliver great western railway BUT UR' BETTER
 * BLACK PAINT
 * THEY'RE NUMBER 9 AN' 10
 * THEY USED TAE BE FRIENDS WI' DUCK AZNABLE BUT ANCE HE BECAM A TOTALITARIAN DICTATUR THEY YEETED HEEM IT AY THEIR LIFE.
 * BILL AN' BEN ARE SMAL (E'EN THEIR WHISTLES) IN COMPARISON AS TWINS
 * ITS BEEN WINTER IN SCOTLAND SINCE 1983